Everyone needs advice or help at one time or another, and it’s not uncommon to feel like your relationship is going nowhere. Here’s how to understand where you are, and how to move your relationship to the next level.
Well, no matter how the love starts, or what is your kind of love– nearly all spouse go through these stages of love in their relationship. Understanding the different phases of love helps couples to move successfully into a better long-term relationship.
1. ROMANCE AND COURTSHIP
The first of the love stages of a relationship is the “falling in love” stage. We tend to be completely infatuated with our newest lover, we think about him or her all the time, and we do all kinds of things to make ourselves seem more appealing to the person we’re newly attached to.
People in this stage feel high when they’re together and can’t wait to be with each other when they’re apart. There are butterflies in the stomach, and your fluttery hearts don’t stop beating for each other.
If your relationship has moved beyond this stage, revisiting romance can be helpful. People grow and change within relationships, so take the opportunity to remind your partner why you’re so special to them, the first placed do whatever you can to make him or she feel loved.
2. DISTRESS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
The so-called “distress” phase is one of the most important stages of a relationship. It’s the stage where you learn how to disagree with one another, and it’s often the stage where many newer relationships end up breaking off due to irreconcilable differences.
Learning how to cope with disagreement within your relationship is important,
and one thing you’ve got to remember is that every relationship is different. Deep resentments begin to develop if you’re unable to resolve your issues in a respectful and mutually agreeable way. Many couples get stuck at this stage because this way of interacting becomes normal in their relationship.
If you’re at this stage, you might wonder why your sex drives don’t match your partners, or why theirs lessened, or why you annoy your partner more now. If you fought with your last partner, think about the lessons you learned so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes again.
What you need to do is hold on! The best is yet to come – even if you see a drop in your love relationship. Keep making the efforts and hope for the best.
4. DOUBTING STAGE
Don’t most of you come across this stage in your relationship when doubt starts to creep in? Mostly, this stage comes after many years of being together with each other in a relationship. You begin to doubt your love, devotion, and dedication to your partner.
You might start thinking about your exes, your past relationships, or even start contacting any of your old boy or girlfriends because you are no longer sure if you are truly in love with your partner.
In this stage, everything relates to your relationship. If you are unhappy and hurt in your relationship – you tend to blame it on your partner for putting you through such trying times. You might even start comparing your relationship with other couples, and other relationships. Remember, you can cross this stage of love in your relationship if you are not dull and boring.
6. DISCOVERY STAGE OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Once a couple passes the above stages relationship, all the unrealistic expectations tend to fade away. Both sides start to discover more about each other and make efforts knowing how they both can fit and work things together.
Couples start defining and clarifying their roles, commitment, and compatibility towards each other. They need to explore their relationship needs and their partners too. There is the need to decide on questions like how much time do they like to spend together or remain apart, how does each side like to express love, or receive it etc.
They need to decide on questions like how much time do they like to spend together or remain apart, how does each side like to express love, or receive it etc. Once couples are able to communicate their needs effectively to one another, avoid a lot of other things that can make a relationship bitter.
Avoid unhealthy behaviors like avoidance, withdrawals, criticism, and defensiveness. Instead, focus on acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, and patience.
7. STABILITY
The stability or friendship stage is one of the most crucial stages of a relationship since it builds a strong foundation. When you make it to the stability stage, you learn much more about who your partner is, and you make new discoveries on a deeper level than you did in the other stages.
If you want to make the most of the stability stage, keep on working to make yourself better, and be sure to give your partner the opportunity to do the same. This stage is also known as the Friendship Phase or Reconciliation Stage. Some couples never make it to this stage, but the ones who do find that they have deeper feelings of love, connection and trust with their partner.
You now have a history together, and most people begin to rely on the predictability of the relationship. As you enter this stage, you begin to realize that your partner isn’t perfect, but your personal differences aren’t quite as threatening as they used to be.
8. CONNECTION STAGE
Next, comes the phase of love in a relationship in which the couples go deeper into trust, commitment, and connect with each other. This is the stage when they experience intimacy. They are more supportive of each other and share each other’s experiences as well.
Problems or ups and downs are part and parcel of every relationship. However, the connection both partners will have and the loyalty towards each other will carry them through these small problems.
In this stage, you stop thinking about your own individual selves and shift the focus to what works best for the relationship. It is actually a stage of attachment when you feel connected, are one-to-one, and love each other a great deal. There is more of team spirit and oneness that further strengthens the relationship. This perhaps is the stage when you feel like a perfect match or made for each other.
9. INTIMACY STAGE
In this stage, your sex life plays a major role. Either the sex drives of both partners may change or one of you might get disinterested or over interested in sex. The truth is that in this stage, some changes occur in your sex life, either good or bad.
One of you may give up on sex, or keep looking for ways to make it more exciting. However, if there is a difference in sexual interests, one of you might even end up having an affair or indulging in serious masturbation to get satisfied.
The answer lies to find creative ways to make your sex life more exciting, which might make your relationship better and bond both of you better. Coupling is the apt term to describe this stage of a love relationship.Whatever you do, do not play with this stage! Scientifically, this stage has proven to break up so many relationships. Work on your sex life and make it better!
10. TRUST STAGE
This is the ultimate stage when both partners love and trust each other totally. However, sometimes this kind of complete trust can also make you take each other for granted – so be careful there.
From all the above stages of love in a relationship, it’s at this stage that you know the direction of your relationship. You are happy with each other, and know what to expect from each other too.
Even though there are total bliss and understanding at this stage, don’t stop appreciating and take your partner lightly. That’s because love needs to be worked on and nurtured all the time. If you don’t keep your love fresh and alive and fail to express your love to your lover more often, it can be rekindled by someone else.
12. TRUE COMMITMENT
Once you’ve made it through the early stages of a relationship, you’re ready for true commitment. At this stage, you’ve probably been through some ups and downs together, and you feel as though you can really depend on your partner.
True love has developed and you’re both committed to working on how to your relationship work. You’re no longer struggling for individuality, but functioning as a team that can enjoy life together.
Even though you’re committed to each other, be sure not to stop taking care of yourself. Keep learning and growing, and be sure that you take the time to experience new things together.
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