In the mid-1970s, officials in tiny Kinney, Minnesota were desperate to fix their crumbling water system. With no help from county, state, or federal government, they did the only logical thing they could think of: from the stools of the city's favorite bar, they hatched a secession plan.
The pub was called Mary's Bar, a tavern owned by Mayor Mary Anderson and Kinney's unofficial "stateroom" (population 325). Since they haven't had much luck getting city funds for water treatment, they might be able to get some foreign help.
Thus, in 1977, the Republic of Kinney was born, not to break away from the county, not from the state, but from the United States.Kinney was founded in 1910 as a makeshift mining town, not intended to survive what the local iron ore mines could handle. Strong infrastructure wasn't the first thing on anyone's mind then, and a surge in population was now straining the ancient water system.
Whichever way the city turned, they encountered a wall strewn with bureaucracy. Back at Mary's, the idea of getting foreign aid started as a hoax, but the idea stuck: If only Kinney was a foreign country...
They thought quickly and sent a letter to the State Department, signed by the mayor and city council in full height. If the US government sent some foreign aid to fix the waters, Kinney would happily go their separate ways, even declaring war if necessary, as long as they could "give up real quick."After all, these people had jobs to do.
The letter was sent to Secretary of State Cyrus Vance, but war never broke out and all 12 square blocks of the city of Kinney remained in the Union. "Foreign Aid" from a local pizza mogul named Jeno Paulucci who liked his cum. He sent Kinney 10 frozen pizza boxes and a brown 1974 Ford LTD with 50,000 miles.
There was a well and pipes. But at least Kinney had a new squad car and plenty of ketchup to take with him.Curiously, the "threat" of secession may have paid off. Within a year, Kinney had her funding and for years celebrated the radical secessionist movement, culminating in a 2007 30th anniversary weekend of special events.
Former Mayor Mary Anderson was there, Grand Marshal of the Parade at '92, and there were fireworks. and libations from Liquid Larry's, the new owner of the old Mary's bar. There seems to have been plenty of water, both regular and fire, to run around.
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