Chasing Happiness
“Do children have a right to do something that is good for them that their parents don’t want to do?” Chloë is 15 years old and mad because she wants to go to therapy and her parents won’t let her. Last year, she cried inconsolably in my arms because she said she was killing her mom. I asked her what she meant and she said, “My birth made my mom sick, and now she’s dying!”
Chloë is a drama queen. She wants to be emancipated from her parents because they just don’t know what is good for her! That’s this year. Last year, she was devastated because she was the grim reaper in her mom’s life!
Chloë would love to believe that if a certain event happened, she would be ‘rich’.
Discussion
How often do we believe that if a certain future event were to happen, our lives would change? “If I buy a new car or get married or pass that exam or go to therapy, I will be happy.”
Do we overestimate the impact and duration of an emotional event? Are we just hedonistic? I think the impact of future events are grossly overestimated because we adapt so quickly to new situations. This is called “hedonic adaption”.
When we become aware of impact bias and the implications of faulty affective (emotional) forecasting and our belief that happiness lies in the future, we can start to enjoy the present moment. Rich relationships, a rewarding job, children that crawl into your bed at night, a dog that loves you … these things are part of the rich fabric of life that forms the basis of our happiness.
Go on … chill. Take a deep breath and enjoy the moment!
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