Ever wondered why ladies or females love to
place their heads on men's chest or lean on men's shoulders when crying,
joyous, expectant or during convos?
Lol It's because the shoulder or chest of a
man is a CUSHION of comfort, assuredness, security, guarantee, satisfaction,
joy, insurance, dependence and hope or optimism. For females and children, it's a CUSHION and a
place of comfort, protection and a source of provision. For specificity, I
would use 'Mattress'. The head can't bear all forms of loads, else the neck
will [cave in]. The shoulders come in because it spreads the pressure evenly
through the body. Even though the load may be one sided for a moment, but then,
there's the other shoulder to the left or right.
Also, be informed that the shoulder of a road
is where drivers may stop during emergencies. Even mountains have shoulders
that help people ascend or descend. Figuratively, the shoulder means [that]
which supports or sustains. To shoulder also means to bear a burden, as a
financial obligation or to accept responsibility for. It's the capacity for
bearing a task or blame.
We all enjoyed it as kids when our fathers
carried us on their shoulders so high and we loved that feeling. Whiles (shoulder) also means to push with the
shoulder, it is not expected of men to bulldoze females. Never. Don't do that.
Kaissh.
Fathers' day seems underrated compared to
mothers' day. It may be celebrated/marked quietly and unnoticed but bear in
mind, there's a shoulder that bears all the weight of the home including the
tears, wears, fears and worries of the children & mother who is painted as
the ultimate heroine and saviour.
If MAMA is a sunrise, then PAPA is the GALAXY
in which we find the Sun. The mother receives the money and gives the
child for school. To the child, it is its mother who sponsors, and so mama is
the best but daddy knows who he is because the source is always the source.
Daddy rebukes and Mama comforts so dad is feared and Mom is revered and
celebrated. Even Mama rejoices when daddy returns home because security,
protection and provision is guaranteed. Honor all fathers, grandfathers and all father
figures who have played a role in your life's journey.
A student once told me, "Sir, I hate my
dad because ever since I was born, he never took the responsibility nor gave a
care. Then she continued, "I will never help my father when I succeed, I
really hate him with all my heart". To all with similar history, I say
forgive them and move on. Heal your heart of pain and bitterness. Charley, even
Joseph forgave his brothers after they sold him or planned to kill him because
they pushed him into a pit and he rose from it to sit on the seat of authority.
They didn't know they were pushing him into his destiny.
On this day, even the irresponsible fathers
must be recognised since it's their negligence and rejection that made you determined
to fight hard to make it. You could have ended up becoming a spoilt pampered
'deity' that no can correct or turned to 'some character bi'. You could have
been dependent on him or her and be too relaxed about life, but now, you've
learnt total independence. It's true that some fathers have brought
disgrace to their children/wives as drunkards, rapists, thieves, killers but
man is man and there are men and there are humans and there are fathers.
Forgive them.
Succeed and let
your success shame them, help them and show them the light since they are in
the dark. Leave the burden of guilt for them to handle It's more than you can
imagine. Honor but don't dishonor. Today, the 18th of June, honor fathers, make
phone calls, celebrate manhood.
I lost my biological father at an early age
and I always miss him from time to time because he helped me a lot. He planted
and raised this seed (my personality) you see today. And thankfully, I've grown
to have many fathers socially, academically, professionally,disciplinary-wise,
business-wise and spiritually.
MY FATHER WAS MY BEST FRIEND before he died. I
could chat and sit with him for hours. This is strange to hear right? While he
lived, one friend of mine whose father worked with my dad at the defunct GTMC,Tema,
came home one day and told the whole area youth this: "I went to the
company today and I swear Cephas Adoka's father works like a machine. He worked
more than every worker." My friend added that even his own father doesn't
come close. I was filled with pride that day. No wonder my father received
several awards and recognition as a worker and person. He worked hard to feed
us and we didn't know that he killed himself daily for us. Hmmmm. I understand
why I'm how I am because I took after his genotype and phenotype. Lol
I remember one day, as a teenager, I wanted to
go and pray on a park @ 11pm and daddy said NO, for safety reasons, but I
pleaded and he agreed. In those days, we lived in the United States of Ashaiman
(USA) and it was dangerous every step of the way and day, so he offered to
escort me through the dangerous parts of the journey and when he felt safety
was guaranteed, he stood and watch me go as I took my steps and he was alert
and battle ready to run swiftly to my defence should anyone from the shadows
try to harm his heir or prince. I'll never forget that day.
A musician once said "TO BE A MAN, NA WA OOOO". The weight or burden of daily provision,
constant protection, comfort, thinking and over thinking to supply, discipline,
correction, upbringing of children, home management and exemplary life of a
father shouldn't be underestimated. It is no wonder some men run away from it
because "To be a man, na wa ooo". In pidgin, we say "Born pikin
no hard oo, but money for koko". Any man can impregnate but not all males can
father well. It's a great, huge, tiring, draining and enormous task, so respect
men, for they too don't sleep. Big ups and much gratitude to all male
Homo-sapiens who played diverse roles in my growth and development.
And so, whether you have biological children
or not, adopted children or not, have lost children or not, are yet to marry or
not, we are looking at the impact of fatherhood. At this point, I say Happy
Fathers' Day to all males. Embrace it and don't do "shakara". Hahaa.
For me, the list is endless if I wanna mention. Thanks to all, from pastors, to
teachers, headteachers/headmasters, mentors, managers, directors, leaders,
co-workers, disciplinarians......
So Happy Fathers' Day to all males who have
fathered, parented and mentored all forms of individuals (lame, blind, deaf,
dumb, physically handicapped). Today, we acknowledge your immense role as a man
and as the Head of the home. A solid rock and source of provision &
protection. It is said that a Father is someone you look up to no matter how
tall you grow. I love this.
Lemme end with this: *MEN WANT HONOUR NOT DISRESPECT.* There's only
one man in the house not two, just like there are no two captains directing a
ship. Learn this.
I've known wives who unleashed the spirit of
responsibility and dutifulness out of their irresponsible husbands by
constantly honouring, advising, praying, and celebrating them in spite of the
man's foolishness. With time, no one told the man to revise his
thoughts and ways. He realized his folly and adjusted to the sense and power of
the submissive woman (who God gave as a partner not a leader).
DADDY IS A HERO/HE IS THE MODEL /HE IS THE MIRROR/ THE GENERATOR /THE PACESETTER/LIGHT/PILLOW......
Let ABOCHI's Father's Day Song be played.
Cephas Adoka Scribbles Again (CASA)
#THE WEIGHT ON A FATHERS SHOULDERS by Cephas
Adoka
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