Punishment disconnects us from our adolescent children, so we have less influence over them. Quite simply, punishment teaches all the wrong lessons. There are effective ways of inculcating in our adolescent children basic positive values and attitudes.
The first and foremost and most relevant way of instilling good discipline in our adolescent wards is to play a good leadership role. Parents have to live a good life worthy of emulation to enable their children to take up such behavioral acts explicitly. Adolescent children at this stage are very hyperactive and good observers. They observe keenly what their parents do. How they behave in groups or in their privacy, the level of respect they accord themselves and other people, how to overcome stress, You’re already a role model for your child. Every time you say something, take an action, or have a reaction to someone or something, your child is observing your behavior. As infants, this is how children gain language skills and eventually learn to talk. And even teenagers—although you might not believe it!—are listening to your words and observing your actions, examining how you handle everything from personal relationships to A parent who entertains all sorts of bad friends will have his or her child follow suit. This is not to say parents should be perfect, but they should try their utmost to become responsible parents and members of society at large. A typical example is an adolescent boy who bullies his colleagues in school because his father abuses his wife physically whenever they have misunderstandings.
Another contributory factor that would go a long way to enabling children, especially adolescents, to take up positive values is to promote effective communication skills in the family. It is Common enough to see adolescent children grasping at problems to their detriment. Meanwhile,they could have consulted their parents, who would have given them the best way through, but they prefer listening to their peers. Parents, by so doing, should not be overly dominative or authoritarian. There should be set times where the family can meet as a unit to discuss issues relating to adolescence, social, health, and other beneficiary issues. This is an opportunity for parents to share their life experiences with their wards. They should make their wards aware of the disadvantages that behove them due to the wrong path they chose. Research conducted shows that children who are punished often lose their self-confidence and kill their initiatives and ideas. They are always afraid of being rebuked or punished. The nature of this contemporary world, where much emphasis is laid on the acquisition of wealth, has placed a burden on most parents that they solely provide for their adolescent children without getting enough time to engage their children. By the time your child is in their later years of primary school, their language and ability to convey ideas have improved a lot. They even alter their speech to suit the circumstances. They may speak more formally in front of a teacher than they do with family and friends. You can show that you are actively listening to your older child in many ways, including: Make time every day to listen exclusively to your child without distractions. If your child tends to give ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers, try asking open-ended questions such as ‘What was the best thing about school today?’ Allow your child to have differences of opinion and respect their point of view. Try not to interrupt, lecture, or criticize.
Furthermore, parents should consider the time factor in bringing up their adolescent children. Their children cannot wake up one day and be well nurtured or well groomed to face the world. This training goes through transition and is backed by the axiom "Rome was not built in one day ". To effectively inculcate good values in children, there is a need to start right from childhood. This is supported fully by the Scriptures, which say, Teach the child the way he should grow, so that when he grows, he will not depart from it." . It is very common in Africa, where the issue of sex education is sidelined. Hardly would parents get time to explain what entails sex education. How do I become assertive? What goes into living a chaste life? All these would make it difficult for children to lay aside such principles and take up bad ones. Their consciousness will prompt them. Right from childhood, parents should try to engage their children in educational ventures so that they will see for themselves the reality of life. The parents should enrich themselves with a good and quality educational background by attending sermons and seminars where the tricks and ploys in dealing with adolescents are unearthed.
The practical method of denying children their basic needs and wishes cannot be expunged from the ways in which good moral values can be inculcated in children. This goes a long way toward making the adolescent remorseful for his or her actions and inactions, unlike physical punishment, where pain is inflicted upon them to the extent that it predisposes some children to committing high offenses. One way or another, children will flout their parental rules and regulations, and it should not be taken up in such a way that the child will be severely punished and end up feeling like a nonentity. These limitations can be overcome in various ways. The child can be denied his or her electronic gadgets, cell phones, laptops, and other accessories. We live in a technological world where children spend most of their time learning, having fun, and playing games on phones and laptops. The time apportioned to them to spend time with their friends Boys like to spend quality time playing games. Denying them such pleasure will make them comply with the necessary rules and regulations. Silence can be a way of doing it. Parents can remain aloof from their children, who in turn will become perturbed.
Last but not least, parents should encourage their children to be affiliated with positive associations like counseling and guidance units, research clubs, youth associations, and the like. This will put pressure on the children to live a good life to be remembered in society. They will feel part and parcel of society. Parents should try to help their children seek guidance and counseling from well-respected people who are responsible. This will help them deal with education choices, peers, and others. They should try and seek the attention of a psychologist when they observe their children behaving outside the normal ways society expects them to. Parents should play their role in making sure their wards are surrounded by good people.
All said and done, punishing children is not the only way of making them comply with rules and regulations to make them responsible, but there are other means that can go a long way to shaping their character.
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