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November 23rd , 2024

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CAN I ASK MY PARTNER TO CHANGE

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Many partners wonder how they can discuss their partner’s behavior – and how they can tackle this. In this article,  start with your need for proximity. How can you make this known without reproach?

Take a risk


We think differently about this. Nagging at your partner doesn’t work; we think that’s just as well. We also do not give you a license to throw your frustrations over the other person simply. But the reverse: acting purely positively and giving compliments is ultimately not what it’s about. If you leave it at that, you end up with a diplomatic marriage.

Compliments or thoughtful comments help fosters the atmosphere, which makes you less opposed to each other. Expressing appreciation can then be a first step on the way.

Our advice to appoint where things have been challenging for some time is, therefore, to start a conversation openly and respectfully. Of course, this is not easy. If it were easy, you would have done it by now.

It could be that your partner is constantly avoiding such conversations or that the discussions between you keep getting derailed. If you want to talk calmly and honestly and your partner is not willing to do this, then after a while, you will come to the following choice:

Give compliments


Some relationship help books say you shouldn’t criticize your partner at all. So don’t try to change him through a conversation. They recommend that you only emphasize the positive in your partner and let him know as much as possible that you are satisfied.

That requires a fair amount of effort and focus minded especially if someone else is involved – but it works, they say plainly. Your partner will also like you again, and it will be nice between you again. Thinking positively about yourself and your partner.

This approach requires that you approach your partner with velvet gloves. If you want to get something from him, you have to play it smart – love is a sophisticated game.

Accept your partner

With the first option, you choose to maintain the relationship at all costs. Even if it no longer meets your need for intimacy. You can choose to accept this. You may be afraid of getting a divorce because it means living alone again or having little money. Enjoy the beautiful moments. Don’t make impossible demands on your partner.

Be aware of each other

You can address your partner and express your need for intimacy. However, living together encounters another aspect: You can negotiate again and again about how you share or divide the tasks. and you can also throw that on the table with your partner.

Deepen your relationship

If you choose to deepen your relationship, the answer to the question is, “Can you ask your partner to change?” You can express your desire for more intimacy and make room for his response to this. Something has to change in your contact – because you become depressed, for example. If the other party systematically ignores your feelings about this, the last option comes into play.

Don’t change his personality

However, you cannot require him to change his personality. Here’s the answer to the question, “Can I ask my partner to change?” so no’. In other words, you can ask if he changes his character, But keep responding from your individuality; there is such a thing as ‘nature of the beast.’

The distinction between what you do and who you are is not always so clear. Sometimes partners cannot distinguish between the intercourse as roommates and the encounter between two personalities.

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Stanley Hammond

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