When such perfect match happens, the two individuals that have come together then set about building the relationship, to take it to the next level, which should naturally be a walk down the aisle, all the way to the altar and matrimony. Not just playing pranks, wasting years, dating endlessly – all of which fritter away opportunity to build a notable and commendable marriage. And in the process prevent a more focused prospective male spouse from making the marriageable lady into a bundle of God’s favour as the Bible says in Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a WIFE (not a mistress, side chick, girlfriend, sugar pie, etc), finds a good thing and obtains FAVOUR from God.”
Any relationship in which the two people involved do not celebrate each other is not worthy to exist. The two people part ways immediately. No matter how ugly, uneducated, unaccomplished a man or a woman is, the moment he or she is taken as a spouse, he/she should be celebrated; otherwise it will be futile to brood and be unhappy in an unhealthy relationship filled with pain and bitterness. Love is actually blind for those who go by this assertion, but when a supposed female soulmate who should respect her man, care for him and love him begins to throw out nauseating statements like, ‘I married you out of pity; I came low in marriage; my parents forced me to marry you, you were not my choice and then this one – cursed be the day I met you,’ then friends there is a storm brewing in the relationship. If you are in this relationship, know it that you are begging for love which you might not get in the long run, whether you are a man or woman.
True lovers celebrate each other at all times, whether is money or not. It does not mean that there would not be issues. Definitely, there would be, but when foul language is frequently repeated between a couple, that is a clear sign one party is begging for love. In an online interview, Nollywood personality, Omoni Oboli, was asked the secret of her marriage. She said: “From the beginning, my husband, Nnamdi and myself, agreed we will be in it together till death parts us.” So, no matter the issue that would come up, Omoniyi and her husband had resolved to remain together and work it out. They got it right and are still bouncing in their relationship of over 20 years. It is very important to get it right from the onset because when begging for love starts, it continues till the relationship is over. But then, for how long will someone be bound in frustration, regret and disappointment while begging for love? So many men and women have wasted their time and life while begging for love, yet they did not get it at the end of the day. Just like the case of Ini Bassey and Florence Okon. While Florence begged for love, Ini played pranks with her feelings, until Florence shocked him and moved on surprisingly to where love waited to usher her into a new home. Then, Ini was a hunk of a guy, and still is, even in his late 60s. Far back in the 90s, the handsome hunk attracted ladies in much the same way that iron filings got drawn to a magnet. Ini was a dashing Law undergraduate at the then University of Ife, now known as Obafemi Awolowo University OAU. Encountering Ini keeps a lady smiling all day. These qualities and more enabled Ini to sweep Florence off her feet. She was at the time a naïve secondary school teenager and the first sign of their closeness was teenage pregnancy. Florence lived with her elder brother Akwett who also knew Ini as both were young law undergraduates in different universities, but lived in the same neighborhood. In Florence’s predicament, her brother made sure her mistake did not stop the life of his little sister. After nine months, she delivered a baby boy and returned to school immediately until she graduated and then also got a Master’s degree. While Ini came around to play father’s role, he impregnated Florence again. Then third and fourth babies followed. Akwett insisted both should legalize their union since they found themselves worthy to parent four children. While Florence was willing and begging him for love and to remove the shame of baby mama from her, Ini enjoyed the scenario and was not that interested. Both families met over their half-baked relationship and Ini was hesitant even as a fine-boy lawyer. As the children grew into teenage age, Florence also grew in leaps and bounds. Now in her mid-forties, she became accomplished, empowered and smarter. Florence found favour in the sight of her widowed executive director who wanted marriage. From being a love-beggar, she willingly walked into the warm embrace of love and care, freely offered by her Ed. Within a short time, wedding bells that rang. ED was more accomplished, richer and well connected because of his position in a blue-chip company. Her brother’s political allies and people from the financial sector made up the bulk of the list of guests that graced their wedding just as notable personalities from the religious community, where her man was an ordained Knight of St. Christopher. Her bridal train were girls from one of the new generational banks where her younger sister worked. It was a wedding of the century attended by A-list guests. To people who gossiped about her new marital status, she said, “I begged for love, even with babies and was never loved and married; today love and marriage looked for me, even in my shortcomings.” Ini was left to wallow in his emptiness.
To ladies who men give condition or threaten with sexual escapade before marrying them, or showing traces of domestic violence, sexual abuse, be wise and know that such a man is a bicycle. You should wait for your Bentley; but then, do not forget that you must be a brand new Bentley in all ramification of life while expecting a Bentley husband. Men and women, know it that any relationship that cajoles you or belittles you is not worth venturing into it at all, kindly take a walk from it immediately. A lot of ladies settle for anything because time and age are no longer on their side, henceforth, remove that archaic thought from your mind. God is still in the business of making marriages happen. Remember that Pastor W F. Kumuyi’s present wife was over 60 years, God still remembered her in due season and I can tell that she is happier and more fulfilled than most ladies who married in their 20s.
Now, every adult who is of marriage age knows what he or she wants, and how to navigate it. That is the major reason all must be careful in daily dealings. We have had instances where men would sponsor a lady through the university with the intent to marry her but by the time she graduates, the girl will become ashamed of the man who send young girls to university to marry them and when they graduate become ashamed of those men. So men, before you go into such venture, be sure the girl truly loves you. Some girls are only interested in how the man’s money will showcase them to world, not the marriage. If they eventually marry such a man, they cheat on him without caring a hoot.
Some wealthy families have also gotten it wrong in marriage by using their business relationships, position, friendship as parents to become matrimonial match-makers and therefore organize superficial marriage between their children. In a short time, news and stories of irreconcilable differences would begin to fly up and down followed by separation and divorce rates.
When Dora in a gathering of friends pretended and never introduced her husband to her friends and colleagues; it was a serious sign that her husband was begging for love and attention. When a man or woman is ashamed of his spouse, it is a big problem. Any relationship that is not boldly showcased should please be allowed to quietly die. The relationship between Soni Irabor and his wife, Betty, is nothing but pure love.
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