Men are socialized to be strong, independent, open, honest and invulnerable. They are often afraid of being vulnerable because they think that it will make them appear weak or feminine. The problem with this mindset is that vulnerability is an important part of any relationship

Men are supposed to be strong. Right? But not emotionless, either. As a man, can you be vulnerable in your relationships… and if so, how much?

A reader commenting on my publication on firefighting problems in relationshipsasks about showing vulnerability in a relationship:

I made the observation that women are not terribly aware of all the little mistakes that you make in life, because they are also human beings, who make mistakes all the time, and who happen to be unattractive several times as well. Doesnt it make you much more good "human" to profess that you, as a human being, are not super strong and super attractive, and super high value all the time, and that you also do struggle, stand up again, and keep trying? It’s a good question. I want to handle it with some delicacy, because, well, it is a delicate thing we’re discussing here. Namely, how much can you set your heart at a woman’s feet, and how much can you not?

Where is the vulnerability in your approach? Is it such a deadly sin to tell a women in a relationship, that you are not happy and satisfied when she flirts with other guys in front of your eyes, and that it makes you feel insecure, because you love her? Is that really "weak"? I feel its much more a profession that you as well have feelings, and that if she continues this behaviour, you will not be able to tolerate or  admit someone keep neglecting your feelings and opinions. Isnt "strong vulnerability.

Meet the Author

View Profile

---

Stanley Hammond

Blogger

follow me