Robert Ingersoll once said: ��The greatest test of courage is to bear defeat without los�ing heart.�� Perhaps the number-one reason for success in life is clarity�about who you are, what you want, and the details of the situation you are facing. The more and better information you have regarding the exact nature of the crunch that you are dealing with, the calmer you will be and the better the decisions you will make.

Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric, said that the most important of all leadership princi�ples is what he called the ��Reality Principle.�� He defined the Reality Principle as ��facing the world as it is, rather than as you wish it would be.��

Facts do not lie

Harold Geneen, often said that the most critical element in solving problems and making good deci�sions in business was to ��get the facts!�� You must get the real facts, the true facts, not the alleged facts, the assumed facts, the hoped-for facts, or the imagined facts. Get the real facts and make your decisions based on them. As Geneen ex�plained, ��Facts do not lie.��

Whenever you face crunch time in your life or business, mentally call a time-out in the game and fo�cus on getting all the information you can about the situation before you make a decision or overreact.

Get the facts by asking key questions and listening carefully to the answers. The very act of asking questions and gathering facts keeps you calm and increases your courage and confidence. The more facts you have, the stronger and more capable you will feel about making good decisions to solve the problem and get through the crunch.

��What cannot be cured must be endured.�� If something has happened, if it is a past event that cannot be changed, it becomes a fact. Never worry or become upset about a fact, which is something that you cannot change. Focus on what you can do, not on what you cannot do.

Dig deeper for more clarity

Especially during the fact-find�ing process, resist the temptation to become angry or to blame others for their mistakes and shortcom�ings. This is not the time or the place, if there ever is a right time or place for blaming. Focus instead on getting the facts, understanding the situation, and determining the specific actions you can take.

This means finding the answers to even more questions, again to achieve clarity. Two of the best questions you can ask in any crisis situation are, ��What are we trying to do?�� and ��How are we trying to do it?��

Never assume that you have all the information, or that the information you have is correct. The more important a particular fact is to your decision making, the more essential it is that you check and double-check to be sure that it is true. Dig deeper by asking: What are our assumptions in this situation? What if our assumptions were wrong? If we were wrong with one of our major assump�tions, what would that mean? What would we have to do differently?

Correlation vs causation

Finally, in achieving absolute clarity about your situation, do not confuse correlation with causation. The natural tendency of most peo�ple is to jump to conclusions too quickly. In many cases, when two events happen at the same time, or one after the other, people assume that one event is the cause of the other.

However, very often two events occur simultaneously or consecutively, but neither event has anything to do with the other event. Assuming causation between the two can lead to confusion and poor decision making.

In any crisis situation, when you experience a crunch point, imagine that you are your own management consultant, brought in to analyze the problem situation objectively. Act like a �problem detective,� asking questions without deciding in advance what needs to be done or not done. Get the facts. Facts do not lie. If you get enough facts and check them carefully, the proper solution and the right thing to do will gradually emerge.

Take control and

responsibility

Napoleon Hill once said: ��Be�fore success comes in any man�s life, he is likely to meet with much temporary defeat, and perhaps some failure. When defeat over�takes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do.��

When things go wrong, when you experience sudden reversals and disappointments, your natural tendency will be to respond with negativity, fear, and anger. When�ever you feel hurt or threatened by loss or criticism, you react to protect yourself with the fight-or-flight response.

As a leader, your first job is to take firm control over your mind and emotions, and then to take control over the situation, in that order. Leaders focus on the future, not the past. They focus on what can be done now to resolve the problem or improve the situation. They focus on what is under their control, their next decisions and actions. You must do the same.

To take complete control over your organisation or business in a crisis, the first thing you must do is to accept total responsibility for yourself and for everything that hap�pens from this minute forward. Leaders accept responsibility and take charge. Non-leaders avoid responsibility and pass things off onto others.

Above all, refuse to blame anyone for anything. Anger and negative emotions of all kinds are dependent upon blame for their very existence. As soon as you stop blaming other people for what has happened and take responsibility for the future, your negative emo�tions cease, your mind becomes calm and clear, and you begin to make better decisions.

Confront stages of grief

The psychologist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross became famous writ�ing about the various stages that a person goes through in dealing with the death of someone close. These stages are similar to what you go through when your busi�ness experiences a severe shock or setback. Understanding these five stages, and the emotions they trigger, can help you to bounce back from setbacks and disappoint�ments.

The five stages of grief are denial, anger, blame, depres�sion, and acceptance. These five stages are then followed by resur�gence and taking control.

Your first reaction to a major setback will often be DENIAL. You will be shocked and feel that this problem cannot be happening. It was not sup�posed to happen. It seriously disrupts your business and your life. Your first reaction will be to shut it out and hope that it is not true.

The second stage in dealing with a sudden setback is ANGER. Your natural tendency will be to lash out at people and organisa�tions you feel are responsible for this financial or personal problem you are experiencing.

The third stage of dealing with death or disappointment is BLAME. In business, it is quite common for a witch-hunt to begin to determine exactly who is to blame and for what. People are called on the carpet, accused of incompetence or dishonesty, and often fired. This behavior satisfies the deep need that many people have to find someone guilty in some way whenever something goes wrong.

The fourth stage in dealing with death or disappointment is DEPRESSION. The reality sets in that an unavoidable and irreparable setback has occurred. The damage has been done. Money has been lost. The feeling of depression is often accompanied by feelings of self-pity, of being a victim. You often feel let down, cheated, or betrayed by others. You feel sorry for yourself and wonder why something like this could happen to you.

The fifth stage of dealing with death or difficulties is ACCEP�TANCE. You finally reach the stage where you realise that the crisis has happened and that it is irreversible, like a broken dish or spilled milk. You come to terms with the loss and begin to look to the future.

Once you have reached ac�ceptance in dealing with a major setback, you can move on to RE�SURGENCE. This is where you take complete control of yourself and the situation and begin think�ing about what you can do next to solve the problem and move forward.

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Stanley Hammond

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