Theres a Chinese Proverb that says, To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping. Those first steps can be frightening and confusing especially if you arent sure which direction to go. It is so much easier to make excuses and stay in a state of self-loathing.
In January, I set these goals:
1. Spend quality time with my family and friends. I have spent too many years worrying about making sure everybody thought highly of me because I went above and beyond, and yet the people who support and love me the most have been put on the backburner.
2. Schedule time for me. Even if just 10 minutes a day. It can be a bubble bath, a good book, a massage, a walk in the park. Relaxing and reconnecting with my own soul is a must.
3. Go outside more, no matter the season. Enjoy all that I am given. No complaints of the heat, the rain, the snow, the coldjust enjoy the present moment for what it is.
4. Dont apologize for saying no. I say I am sorry all too much after the no happens. Keep the I am sorry for when I really am. It can be a polite, No, I cannot do it without it being a soulful apology that makes me feel awful days later.
5. Be open to my feelings. I never want to hurt anybody and so I avoid the confrontation, but in the meantime, I hurt myself. The conversation doesnt have to be defensive, but instead authentic and honest.
6. Stop fearing dreams/aspirations. No matter how silly my dreams and aspirations might be, I will not fear going forward, or fearing what others will think/say/do.
7. Be creative. The creativity is oozing to get out, but I often claim there isnt time. I am making time.
8. Organize my life. No more junk drawers or useless things. Organizing the house and office attract a clear and cleaner energy.
9. Be grateful, affirm and set goals. It helps to keep the motivation going.
10.Be in the present. Life moves so quickly.
And then life happened. Loss happened.
Last week I found my January list and instantly felt guilty. I felt behind on life, and oh so less than accomplished. I had to remind myself to give myself some grace and know that I can always begin again. I dont need to do everything, just maybe something. And I reminded myself that doing nothing is sometimes doing something too.
Loss is rarely a choice. Whether that loss is from a passing, a job, a relationship, your own identity, etc., it is rarely a choice. It often comes with a yearning, second-guessing, and a lot of wishing that things could be altered. So, we must find what we can control in the situation and get back in the drivers seat. It might be asking for help. It might be discovering (re-discovering) self-love. Being kind to yourself. It might be allowing yourself to feel the feelings. And it might be all of that.
So, if you are feeling lost after a loss, or lost on your path, it only takes a small step to change your life.
I took just 1 of my 10 items on my list and decided to work on that for a bit so not to overwhelm or disappoint myself. Baby steps and mouse bites would clear the path to make it better manageable.
Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, and send yourself all the love.
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Theres a Chinese Proverb that says, To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping. Those first steps can be frightening and confusing especially if you arent sure which direction to go. It is so much easier to make excuses and stay in a state of self-loathing.
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