In case you are not yet familiar with the word, toxic people are those seen as exhausting or draining to be around. They spread negativity to those they meet and may be overly pessimistic, sad or needy.
Whenever you encounter them, you immediately feel bad, tired or irritated. They may say words that quickly put you into a bad mood. They often point out the things that make you feel down.
Have you encountered toxic people? What was your response?
If you are a Christian, encountering toxic people can put you into a dilemma. This is because even if most people would advise you to stay away from toxic people, you feel guilty doing so. After all, aren’t we all called to love our neighbors?
Along the way, however, you may feel as though you’re being pulled deeper and deeper into your negative emotions. No matter how hard you try to lift up the other person, you feel that you could do so little to help him or her. In the end, you feel drained, sad or even angry.
How should we view toxic people through the lens of our Christian faith?
Here are the 4 things we may learn as Christians from toxic people:
1. Patience
“Love is patient; love is kind…” – 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NRSVCE)
We Christians are all called to love, and one of the first things mentioned in the Bible about love is patience.
It is patience that proves our love.Patience to meet people where they are. And patience to endure the other person’s shortcomings.
Toxic people can remind us what kind of patience we truly possess and how far we must still strive for patience and love.
2. Humility
Along with our knowledge of our need to increase our patience is the virtue of humility.
When we know that some people can easily irritate us and test our patience, we are drawn to be more humble of ourselves. We avoid being self-righteous.
Humility is nothing but the truth. And toxic people, whether we like it or not, can make us see the truth about ourselves.
3. Boundaries
Toxic people can also teach us about boundaries.
Loving others should not necessarily mean not loving ourselves anymore. For how could we start to love others when we can’t even love ourselves?
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:39 (NRSVCE)
Extend to your neighbor the kind of love you have for yourself. As much as you try to understand yourself, try also to understand other people. As much as you try to be patient with yourself, try to be patient with others also.
God is not telling you to be a doormat and become the victim of other people’s abuse. Love should teach you instead to be brave!
You are not loving others when you just let them harm you over and over again.You should teach others to be better. That’s what brotherly love should be.
4. God’s love for us
If there is anything that toxic people can teach us, it is how we should realize God’s great love for us!
When we come to think about it, we all seem to be “toxic” to God in one way or the other.
It is because of our sins that God Himself had to come down on earth to save us. It is because of our shortcomings that He had to die on the cross.
O, how great is God’s love and patience for us. Instead of punishing us for every sin, He bears the punishment Himself and forgives us again and again.
“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:6-8 (NRSVCE)
Final Thoughts
Encountering toxic people can put us in a dilemma that will test both our conscience and our common sense. If we do not use both, we may end up hurting ourselves and the very people we were meant to love.
Let us be patient, but let us also be wise.Whenever we get confused, let us ask ourselves, “How does God want me to love this person?”
God loves us all. His love is patient, kind and strong. He wanted us to be better, and not to cause harm upon each other.
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