There is no such thing as a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ parent, only flawed methods, perhaps. Every parent is inherently loving, wishing the best for their wards, but many times we beat ourselves up taking the blame and not conceding the influence of external forces and circumstances on the way we raise our children and they grow.
We live in volatile times, and it is not easy to navigate through the warrens of parenthood in this quixotic world. It requires a lot more steeling up and resilience now than it did many years ago. The truth is, it is only getting tougher with the changes we are witnessing in the way our world currently operates.
But you know at the core of your heart that you will do what it takes to make your offspring happy people in their lives. It might just be that at times, you don’t know what it takes; you don’t know which way to turn; you wonder what the best way is; sometimes you feel like a failure because you don’t have a guaranteed roadmap in hand. Uncertainty is the name of the parenthood game. The challenge, therefore, is to grapple with the ambiguities you face and find ways to resolve issues that sometimes come at you like a massive dust storm. The visibility drops, the road ahead seems unnavigable, and you suddenly begin to ask, “Am I a bad parent? Where did I go wrong?”
These are questions that shouldn’t hassle you because the truth is you didn’t go wrong; things probably didn’t go as per plan, thanks to the dust storm. All you need to do now is take a detour in your journey. Reset your compass, find new ways to shepherd your lambs and steer them out of the woods when they seem to go astray.
As a parent, you will be prone to mistakes, for parenting, like every other human relationship, can be daunting and will demand your everything. You must invest a lot of time and resolve to make it work. There are no shortcuts in the path to building happy kinship. All you need to do is to remove self-doubts and start trusting your inner voice. You are a parent who has put your child’s well-being ahead of everything else. Your coveted dreams are made of their joys and successes, and when you stride with intent as immaculate as this, you can never fail.
It is a long journey. Once a parent, always a parent. The road will sometimes be pot-holed and at other times, pancake flat. The trick is to enjoy the ride, despite it all. Remember, you are the best parent for your ward, because the Universe chose only you for job.
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Full Blog Categories: Anxiety | Tips 10 Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
10 Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
October 29, 2020
About Self-Doubt
It’s normal to experience feelings of doubt when we are faced with new or challenging situations. Self-doubt is characterized by feelings of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of the self. It is something that we all may experience at certain times in our lives. However, when it becomes debilitating for us, that’s when we may need more tools to overcome self-doubt.
Self-doubt may stem from previous negative experiences or from attachment style issues. Those with insecure attachments may have experience being criticized, that can contribute to self-doubt later in life. If someone has been told in the past that they’re “not good enough” or incapable of something, then this can have a large negative effect on their self-worth. We also have a deep societal pressure to achieve, which can be more harmful than motivating for us.
If persistent self-doubt is not addressed, it can lead to:
Anxiety
Depression
Procrastination or lack of motivation
Emotional instability
Low self-esteem
Difficulty making decisions
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt. Psychologists describe it as the experience of feeling like a fraud, despite having achieved success. Imposter syndrome is something that is especially felt among women and minority groups. With imposter syndrome, it can limit our courage to put ourselves out there in a meaningful way or go after new opportunities. It causes people to experience self-doubt about if they are “qualified enough” or doing “well enough,” in a job, a relationship, a friendship, as a parent, or any other activity (even though they usually are).
Self-doubt and imposter syndrome can have a significant negative effect on someone’s self-esteem. However, there are ways to combat these feelings and become more confident in ourselves and our abilities.
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Full Blog Categories: Anxiety | Tips 10 Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
10 Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
October 29, 2020
About Self-Doubt
It’s normal to experience feelings of doubt when we are faced with new or challenging situations. Self-doubt is characterized by feelings of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of the self. It is something that we all may experience at certain times in our lives. However, when it becomes debilitating for us, that’s when we may need more tools to overcome self-doubt.
Self-doubt may stem from previous negative experiences or from attachment style issues. Those with insecure attachments may have experience being criticized, that can contribute to self-doubt later in life. If someone has been told in the past that they’re “not good enough” or incapable of something, then this can have a large negative effect on their self-worth. We also have a deep societal pressure to achieve, which can be more harmful than motivating for us.
If persistent self-doubt is not addressed, it can lead to:
Anxiety
Depression
Procrastination or lack of motivation
Emotional instability
Low self-esteem
Difficulty making decisions
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt. Psychologists describe it as the experience of feeling like a fraud, despite having achieved success. Imposter syndrome is something that is especially felt among women and minority groups. With imposter syndrome, it can limit our courage to put ourselves out there in a meaningful way or go after new opportunities. It causes people to experience self-doubt about if they are “qualified enough” or doing “well enough,” in a job, a relationship, a friendship, as a parent, or any other activity (even though they usually are).
Self-doubt and imposter syndrome can have a significant negative effect on someone’s self-esteem. However, there are ways to combat these feelings and become more confident in ourselves and our abilities.
How to Overcome Self-Doubt
1- Practice Self-Compassion
If self-doubt is holding you back from taking a leap with your career or in another aspect of your life, it helps to remember that we are all human. We all make mistakes along the way and it’s okay to do so. When we doubt our abilities, it’s often because we don’t want to make any room for mistakes. However, mistakes are also how we learn and grow. We can mitigate self-doubt and fear of failure by practicing being kind to ourselves, no matter the outcome.
2- Remember Your Past Achievements
Remember when you may have been scared to do something, in school or work, but it actually ended up going really well? It helps to reflect on concrete achievements where something challenging for us turned into something great. A lot of achievements are born out of initial uncertainty or doubt. It helps to remind ourselves about the times that things have gone right, because the same thing could happen in the present moment.
On the flip side, it’s good to not focus too much on the past or past failures we might have had. The present moment is a new opportunity to do well, even if things didn’t go right the first time.
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There is no such thing as a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ parent, only flawed methods, perhaps. Every parent is inherently loving, wishing the best for their wards, but many times we beat ourselves up taking the blame and not conceding the influence of external forces and circumstances on the way we raise our children and they grow.
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