When we think about finding someone, falling in love, and settling down, we rarely like to think about one of the possible outcomes of getting married: getting divorced. Divorce is, unfortunately, a real part of some relationships, but there's a thin line between realism and scaremongering—even though divorce definitely happens, that doesn’t mean it has to happen to you. While you can’t prevent life from getting in the way (and unexpected barriers and obstacles coming up) you can make sure your relationship is as strong as possible to withstand them. Ideally, that process would start long before you get married.
To forestall or significantly reduce the prospect of a divorce, it is important that you ask your partner a number of important questions.
1. One of the important questions to ask has to do with money, Andrea Bonior, a relationship expert says. Ask him or her how the two of you are going to share financial responsibilities. Who is going to bear the bulk of the responsibilities? Are you going to share the financial responsibilities equally?
2. You also need to ask about your partner’s health status. Is any one of you suffering from a condition? How does he or she handle stress and how deeply involved should you be in each other’s medical care?
3. Bonior also cites family as an important question to be asked before engagement. Questions around family such as how many children do you intend to have, that is if you are going to have children at all? What role should your parents play in your life?
4. You also need to ask your partner about their fears which will help you in having a better understanding of them as Lea Rose Emery advises.
5. Although, tricky one, the question about your romantic past needs to be asked. This will ensure that your past relationships do not hinder your marriage as Eleanor Stanford advises in a piece for the New York Times.
Top Questions to Ask Your Partner Before You Commit
We're talking about a major decision here, but that doesn't mean you need to stress. Every question matters, but there are a few things that matter most. Focus on these, and you'll be off to a great start:
How are we already great at communication? How can we improve?
If we were to come up with a mission statement about our relationship, what would you want it to say?
When we feel like we're changing in different directions or drifting apart, what are some things you think we could do to get closer?
How can I help you relax or support you when you're feeling super stressed?
Are you willing to work on our marriage as life throws challenges at us? What does that kind of work look like to you?
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When we think about finding someone, falling in love, and settling down, we rarely like to think about one of the possible outcomes of getting married: getting divorced. Divorce is, unfortunately, a real part of some relationships, but there's a thin line between realism and scaremongering—even though divorce definitely happens, that doesn’t mean it has to happen to you. While you can’t prevent life from getting in the way (and unexpected barriers and obstacles coming up) you can make sure your relationship is as strong as possible to withstand them. Ideally, that process would start long before you get married.
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