Who among us has never been hurt in life? Sadly, we’ve all been hurt in some way.
When I was a young girl, a close friend of our family sexually abused me. I was only 7 or 8 years old. I never spoke a word of this to anyone, but I never forgot what he did to me either. When I turned 17, every time he saw me on the street, he would offer me a ride home. I never accepted the ride and glared at him each time. I could not stand the sight of him; it made me feel ashamed, ugly, dirty—all I could think was, what did I ever do to deserve this?
Eventually, I went to college, moved from Puerto Rico, and began work in Florida. I put that chapter of my life away, tucked so deep within my brain that I almost forgot about it.
Many years later, I joined a Bible study group with some ladies from church. During our third meeting, as we were worshiping, I felt a hand grab mine and pull me to the center of the room. It was the group leader. She embraced me and whispered in my ear, “that man that hurt you when you were a child… forgive him!” No one knew what happened to me. I had never spoken about it!
As I cried, I realized that I had stuffed the pain and it was still there. I held anger toward this man and resented what happened to me. I tried to forgive him in that moment, saying, “I forgive...” but it was just words. I couldn’t even remember his name. For an entire week, I kept saying, “I forgive…” until I remembered his name. Through God’s power, my resentment began to fade.
The man in my story got very ill, lost his mind, and was bedridden for a long time. One afternoon as I entered my home, I got a call from my mom. “Mr. ___” died, she said.
I was speechless. All I could say was, “Oh wow.” As soon as I hung up the phone, I felt something pop out of my body. I believe it was the rest of my unforgiveness. Since then, I no longer feel ashamed. I literally feel free and have profound joy and peace in my life.
Anger, resentment, and bitterness can haunt our hearts for a long time, especially when the cause of the initial hurt is in the distant past. Even if we don’t know it’s there, God does. And I am living proof that He can help a person see that it’s there. We can trust He knows when we reach a time in our lives to have it exposed and help us forgive.
Jesus teaches us to forgive:
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. (Mark 11:25 NLT)
Forgiveness sets us free so we can be forgiven, move on, and live a good abundant life—which might include restoring the broken relationship, if the abuser repents and the abused desires reconciliation. If God forgives me, who am I not to forgive those who have wronged me?
The devil would like us to do the opposite. He is a liar. Don’t let him steal your peace and your joy.
Journal
TikTok, Medical Debt, and The Power of Forgiveness
December 14, 2022
If there is one thing that stayed the same for Jamie Kanter after March 17th, 2022, it’s her love for animals. Just about everything else changed. Jamie had been a zookeeper, a pet trainer, and for the past 14 years, a veterinary technician who felt passionate about “being a voice for animals, because they don’t have one.” Her best friend is her dog, a miniature Australian shepherd mix named Daisy. They lived in Salt Lake City, Utah, and spent most of the time that Jamie wasn’t at work being active outdoors. “We were constantly camping, or paddleboarding, or out doing a bonfire. Anything outdoors really that we could do, we were out doing.”
On that Thursday afternoon in March, Jamie was backing out of a parking spot in a crowded lot when the car behind her, also backing out, hit her on the back of the driver’s side of her car. “Initially nothing felt wrong. I know I was hyped on adrenaline, but I felt fine.” She got the information she needed for insurance purposes and headed home.
That night, Jamie experienced some soreness from the accident, but the next day at work, she started experiencing more pain. “I was miserable, I didn’t feel like I could walk, I had a tremendous amount of pain in my hips.” After resting for a few days at home without any improvement from the pain, she went to urgent care. At urgent care, they saw several contusions on her hips but sent her home after giving her injections for the pain. When those wore off, the pain returned. “I probably should have gone to the ER at that point, but I didn’t because of money.” For days, the pain worsened, and she had to ask friends to carry her up and down stairs. She couldn’t walk Daisy or drive, let alone go to work. She returned to urgent care for more injections and when those failed to provide relief, despite the worry of how much it would cost, the emergency room was the only option.
After an MRI at the emergency room, the doctors told her that if they didn’t operate soon, she may lose her ability to walk. Jamie knew she needed to move forward with surgery, but in the back of her mind, she was replaying the conversation she had with her employer months before about healthcare enrollment. She had ultimately decided not to enroll because she was struggling to make ends meet on her salary even without money being withheld for healthcare. “Money was already tight, with my career you make so little that you can’t afford insurance.”
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Who among us has never been hurt in life? Sadly, we’ve all been hurt in some way.
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