If you were asked the question, what is the longest relationship you have ever had?
How would you answer?
With the number of days, maybe years, you have known your parents, siblings, current spouse or partner.
Would you place yourself at the top, or would you even consider yourself to be on your list?
When we think of relationships, we often look outwards, considering close bonds as something external built with others. However, every relationship we can ever have is relative to how we view, love and trust ourselves first.
This self-connection forms the foundation for our broader sense of belonging.
"Communities shape and characterise us; they support and bring us together and sometimes tear us apart, yet we inherently know we cannot thrive without them."
Turning Inward to Connect Outward
At times, the interplay between our inner world and outside communities brings coincidences and meaningful conversations that shape our path.
While we cannot visualise the full complexity of our social networks, every encounter matters in that it shapes and defines who we are and who we become.
Like our social networks, communities shape and characterise us; they support and bring us together and sometimes tear us apart, yet we inherently know we cannot thrive without them.
Cities and large communal areas have existed for centuries, but the world has been moving towards a path of urbanisation and now globalisation ever since nations began their industrial revolution.
We are better connected and able to communicate across the globe instantly - yet some of us live with a lack of connected community.
Loneliness, social isolation, or lack of companionship and connection are the antonyms we live through in the absence of community.
Unfortunately, they are a silent disease that appears to be on the increase.
Why is that?
The core truth is that while technology evolves, our basic hopes and needs stay grounded in finding meaningful bonds.
From Fitting In to Belonging
Seeking community is not about changing ourselves to fit narrow roles. As researcher Brené Brown surprisingly found, fitting in opposes the experience of fully belonging.
When we shift aspects of self for acceptance, detachment can grow. This helps explain why genuine connection feels so vital.
We are hardwired to emotionally and socially benefit from community. Just as freedom and joy draw us to rewarding bonds, the absence of close companionship brings distress.
But unlike past generations limited by geography, we now have far greater choice in finding "our people" online to open our hearts and minds.
The internet and social media have opened new worlds and opportunities to find like-minded people and belong.
Self-Trust Fuels Community
At its root, connection ripples outward from how we relate to ourselves first. Only from this grounded centre can we fully bridge to others, avoiding superficial bonds.
Meaningful connections and strong bonds arise from authenticity; that is when we are true to ourselves and step into and shine our light.
Just as cities organically grow by attracting diverse residents, we can each contribute our light to our chosen collective.
At any age, humans ultimately seek a meaningful community where we can show up fully as we are.
We only have to look and find the courage to open our hearts and minds to something beyond our present experience and history.
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