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December 25th , 2024

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IN -TOO DEEP

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Poetry

A month ago



I never intended to enter this deep,

But somehow, I found myself in shallow waters.

The deeper the water, the intense the strokes.

I pushed to survive.

The more I pushed, the more painful it got.

My mind cautioned my heart from the onset.

Walk with the  brain and not the heart.

I heard but I did not heed

I was bent on walking.

Taking baby steps.

Without realizing, I was already walking and about to

Embark on a marathon.

Sheepishly with my heart and not my brain.

I fell.

I fell face flat and chest down.

The sharpness of pain strung a chord in my heart.

I felt the pain yet I surged,

Hoping to win the ultimate.

To get what I deserve.

But no, it didn't happen as planned.

I injured my heart.


The impact was great and it hurt.

I got bruised and thought it would heal.

The pain did not stop me.

I continued and got more bruises.

The sore became an eyesore, detestable at sight.

There was no one to nurse my wounds.

I had to be my own caregiver

Because I knew me best and what I deserved

I knew how I wanted to be cared for.

All through the pain I still wished that one person

would finally realize his mistakes and sweep me up in

an embrace.


Poised to give me nothing but the best

And no short of what I deserved and more.

All of that was just wishful thinking and

The thought of it made me cry.

It’s not my style to shed tears but in this situation I sobbed.

i reminisced our beautiful moments.

It was beautiful when it sprout.

Like roses of bloom,

Bathed in sunlight. 

Phone calls throughout the day

Just like a customer service representative for a start- up company .

Sweet messages every second that made my heart melt 

Like butter covered in steam. 

Visits to the queen that made me feel like the queen of England.

Strolls that transcended into day dream happily ever afters. 


Not long did it wither,

It sweet turned sour.

I would have swallowed if it were bittersweet. 

But this was  bitter like bile.

I no longer want to dine on this table 

Nor wish to eat from this pot.

My appetite seized.

My lips went dry.

I felt nothingness.

The air around me got stale.

I was in too deep.


Reality slapped some senses into me.

I concluded it is important to know your worth

To know what you deserve

To know what you need

To be with the one who does everything possible to

keep you.

And not the one who wants you. 

To be with the one who shows you traces of unending happiness.

A bright future and a beautiful family.

Because you are far worth more than rubies. 

Woman, know your worth!

 

 

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Lawrencia Annan

Commuicator/Writer

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