So many stories all over the world about various forms of abuses and believe me when I say there are so many forms of them not just marital which is a lot. I normally ask myself why a human being would allow herself/himself be treated in such a manner? By another HUMAN! Don't they love themselves enough? But until you have lived through or witnessed it, you won't understand how difficult that is especially leaving such oppressors behind because of how much we love them and want them to change.
My dearest sisters, no matter how difficult it is to leave that man who has turned you into a punching bag and wants to let out all his frustrations on you because of something which is not entirely your fault, RUN and don't look back. Someone would say “but I have kids with him! I have suffered with him! I don't have anywhere to go". So many excuses! Your mental health is much important sis! You are stronger than you think! A man that lays a hand on a woman for the first time won't change no matter what he says or does to show how sorry he is. To this effect, I have a story to share:
She was one of the most beautiful girls and most hardworking lady in the neighborhood. One day, a young man came to ask her hand in marriage and she agreed. Probably she fell in love with him or he was rich or something but the young man looked suspicious and the young girl's mother vehemently protested against the union. It took the intervention of some elders in the church before the young girl's mother agreed but even that she did not like the union and she never hid her displeasure. Fast forward, this young man now married to the beautiful lady sent her to his house-now their house in the big towns. Things took to the downhill when they both settled in their home. First red Flag was when he decided he won't have kids with her after their only child-a daughter. Instead he took medicine to weaken his sperms anytime, he had sex with her so she won't get pregnant. He stopped her from going to church (this was funny because he actually approached her as a God fearing and church going somebody) and also stopped her from working. He would take her to an obscure place, beat her, leave her there till someone finds her and sends her to the hospital. Her parents would come for her to their little village and he would come crying, begging and this lady would forgive him, every time. This young man started having an affair with a woman he rented a place for right opposite their house and even had a child with her. THE IMPUDENCE! The stress and abuse in the marriage made this once beautiful woman haggard and looked older than her mother. She eventually had stroke and died and her daughter was not even taken to see her mother for one last time. The young man, the least said the better. if only she left for the first time it happened
Many a times we think abuse is only limited to Women but our Children and Men are being abused every day and much noise is not made about it. Abuse is not limited to physical but emotional too. Some women verbally abuse their men till they commit suicide. Yes! I said what I said. If they don't kill themselves, they end up doing things they are not supposed to. I have another story to share:
A couple living together with their kids having some marital problems and they decided to seek help from a marriage counsellor. During the session, the main problem was found out to be the Woman's attitude towards her man. The man could not voice out his problems because society has made it so. He has contemplated having suicide so many times but He could not bring himself to do it. It revealed that he has suffered verbal abuse from his wife for their entire 6 years of being together. When asked by the counsellor what he wanted to so, either save the marriage or leave. He opted to LEAVE- for his own sanity.
My brothers RUN if any woman is making you feel less of a man. You deserve better! Voice out if you are going through this kind of abuse. It dampens one's Spirit and make them feel less of who they are supposed to be.
Our children are being abused the most. They can't even voice out because they have been threatened into silence. They are those who grow up and abuse their husbands, wives and children because all they have come to know is ABUSE. Another story to share:
My neighbor's child was put in an older boy's care who happens to be their landlord's son whenever they go to work. This child who is a boy of 3 years always had difficulty in passing stool. Whenever he does, there is blood. The parents got so worried and decided to send him to the hospital one day. Before that day, the little boy came home crying and was asked what was wrong by the mother and his mother's friend who had come to visit. The little boy told the mother that, the land lord's older son of 13 years had inserted his penis into his anus. The mother told him to shut up and that he should never say that again. The woman's friend told the little boy's mother to check the boy's anus. It was found out that he had indeed done that act and had cleaned it but unfortunately for him, he left his discharge in his anus. Funny thing is, the parents of the older boy wants to make this case an out of the police station matter and the parents of the little boy have agreed to hush it once and for all. Sad world we live in huh!
We should not allow Society and other people who have not lived in our shoes dictate what our Voice should be. We must report Abuse, any form of it to the proper authorities and not be silenced into death! YOUR SANITY MATTERS! LEAVE IN ORDER TO LIVE! LIVE FOR YOURSELF!
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