The life of a Nigerian and a Manchester United fan is one of the most complex combinations known to humanity, without bias.
As a United fan, you have to watch your club hire Ten Hag, replace David De Gea with André Onana, who for whatever reason believes he is world-class. Then they spent about €100m on Antony and £75m on Højlund, both of whom are out of the club after just two seasons. To make matters worse, Sancho has refused to leave unless it’s on loan.
Well, as a fan I probably shouldn’t be worried about all this because, at the end of the day, it’s not my money being used to sign any of these players. But still, the major problem was finishing 15th last season—escaping relegation only because there were teams shittier than us. The Europa League, which we tried to use to hold body, we gifted to Tottenham without them even getting a single shot on target.
Worse still, we have won only one game this season, and that came from a last-minute penalty. Not so shockingly, we lost to a League Two side, Grimsby, in the FA Cup qualifiers.
However, what is shocking is the fact that we rank first for shots on target and chances created, yet we remain the worst side at converting those chances.
As for the Super Eagles—or should I say Super Chickens—I don’t even know where to start. This is the second time we are missing out on a World Cup, and it is purely due to our stupidity in not doing the bare minimum. I remember during the time of Gernot Rohr, we never struggled to qualify, nor did we have to start doing permutations, calculations, and even further maths I had long forgotten since secondary school. What did the then NFF chairman and minister of sports do? They sacked him.
Funny enough, Rohr was the one who assembled this current crop of players, who at least played like human beings during his time. This is not to go down memory lane, but if you are raising the bar, shouldn’t we aim higher by appointing coaches with greater pedigree?
Honestly, the Super Eagles will make you remember your calculator and turn you into a mathematician, while Manchester United will make you question your existence.
This is my life—the life of a Nigerian and a Manchester United fan.