1. Just found out that I’m color blind. The news came completely out of the green!
2. Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
3. How do penguins call their favorite Aunt? Aunt-Arctica
4. What should a lawyer always wear to a court? A good lawsuit!
5. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
6. Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos!
7. I was captured by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me
8. Waking up this morning was an eyes opening experience.
9. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down
10. How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed
11. My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is starting to improve
12. Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!
13. What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
14. I'm a social vegan, I hate meet.
15. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Bonus Puns
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing
I hate how funerals are always at 9 am. I’m not really a mourning person. nothing.
They are building a mirror factory in my town, I see myself working there
Will glass coffins ever be a success? Well remains to be seen
Elevators terrify me...So I'm taking steps to avoid them
Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited... runs in the family
So many people are too judgmental these days I can tell by just looking at them
Thanks for reading. You can also drop your puns here in the comments
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