Penises are like snowflakes: None are exactly the same, but they sure are pretty. (Jk jk LOL on that last part.) But how many types of penises are there, really? Well, a lot more than the scope of emojis would suggest. Experts narrowed down the breadth of boners to 14 main types. Here's what you need to know about each-plus your move to monopolize on that D. (You're welcome...)
types of penises- Circumcised banana BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: The skin covering the penis (a.k.a. the foreskin) has been removed, generally in the infancy phase of life (thank g).
Real talk: This is the most common kind of penis in the United States: About 90 percent of men over 20 are circumcised, says Joseph Alukal , MD, an associate professor of urology at Columbia University Medical Center.
Your move: Previous research has found that circumcised penises can be less sensitive than circumcised ones (since they don't have the nerve-covered foreskin). But since youre probably used to this kind of penis anyway, just proceed as per usual.
2. Uncircumcised Penises
types of penises- uncircumcised cucumber BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: Simply put, the foreskin is left intact. It's generally a cultural (region, religion, tradition, etc.) thing.
Real talk: Uncircumcised men have to work a bit harder to keep it clean down there since bacteria can get trapped in the extra skin.
Your move: As the penis goes from flaccid to erect, it helps to roll back the foreskin to stimulate him more. But the head area can also be super sensitive, so start gentle, and continuously ask him what feels good, says Holly Richmond , PhD, a sex therapist with practices in New Jersey, L.A., and Portland, Oregon.
3. Growers
types of penises- growers BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: You know these guys well: Penises that are larger when hard compared to when they're flaccid AF.
Real talk: An international Men's Health survey found that 79 percent of men have growers.
Your move: During foreplay , wrap your fingers around the base of his penis firmly. This makes him harder and (at least in theory) helps him hit his full size potential. (And if nothing else, it can help delay his orgasm so you both can enjoy sex longer.)
4. Show-ers
types of penises- show-er BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: Penises that stay more or less the same size whether they're ready to go or flaccid. (See also: Jon Hamm.)
Real talk: No one knows why certain penises function so differently, says Dr. Alukal. But according to that same Men's Health survey, 21 percent of men are the proud owners of show-ers.
Your move: If you're impressed by his manhood the second you see it, say so-he'll definitely appreciate the compliment. But also: Watch out for that BDE.
5. Curved Penises
types of penises- curved pepper BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: When erect, his penis bends slightly (or majorly) to one side or the other.
Real talk: Hi s manhood will seem pretty straight when it's just chilling-it's only when he gets hard that the curve appears.
Your move: Look at his, uh, "quirk" as an unexpected sexy advantage. Experiment and be communicative with your partner, says sex and couples therapist Ian Kerner , PhD, author of She Comes First Try as many new positions as you can to get a better idea of what feels best for both of you.
6. Small Penises
types of penises- small carrot BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: To actually be considered medically small, "a penis has to be two standard deviations less than the average [five inches]-meaning its just over three inches long when erect, says Dr. Alukal. Outside the doctor's office, ladies call this a "micropenis." Luckily, they're pretty rare-but a small penis can be anything that seems tinier relative to other Ds you've seen.
Real talk: Length is one thing, but r esearchers havent measured girth (a.k.a. width) yet in any formal way, so there arent any established numbers floating around out for that average, says Dr. Alukal. But lots of women agree that girth matters more than length.
Your move: To feel more of him when he's working with less, try the coital alignment technique (CAT): Have his pelvic bone press directly against your clit during penetration.
7. Big Penises
types of penises- big eggplant BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: Manhoods that are seven inches long or more when erect, which is about two standard deviations longer than the average of five, qualify for the eggplant (versus carrot) emoji.
Real talk: It's basically impossible for a penis to be so big that it's physically incapable of fitting inside you, experts agree.
Your move: Make sure you're extra lubricated, and spend plenty of time on foreplay to ease into actual P-in-the-V action. And maybe avoid girl-on-top positions if he feels like too much inside you.
8. Unpredictable
types of penises- unpredictable penis BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: T hese guys don't always get hard-or stay hard-when they should.
Real talk: About 40 percent of men have penises that dont always function as they should, says Dr. Alukal. Whats more, an unpredictable penis could actually be an indicator of a greater health problem.
Your move: If your man has penile difficulties, the most important thing you can do is be supportive. But dont say something like, Its okay, I dont care, because you do...and he knows it. Instead say, "We'll figure this out together," and then actually follow through-by helping him schedule a doctor's appointment, says Dr. Alukal.
That way, hell know that youre there for him-and that you want it to work just as much as he does.
9. Emotionally Sensitive Penises
types of penises- emotionally sensitive BusinessInsider USA Images
Description: This type of ESP is a penis that loses its erection due to embarrassment, shameful associations, social anxiety around sex, or other mental hangups.
Real talk: An inability to get or stay hard could be a sign that he's not not feeling great psychologically about what's going down (perhaps he realizes you have stronger feelings for him than he does for you), Richmond explains. Or it could mean the opposite: He's so into you, he feels too much pressure to perform well.
Your move: Outside the bedroom (in a safe space/when neither of you are naked and vulnerable), have a conversation to make sure you're both on the same page about everything. Miscommunication and assumed expectations can be major buzzkills.
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