My seven-year-old grandma was jolted awake by her father in the early hours of 1919. He told her, "Come say goodbye to your mother."
He led her and her brothers into the kitchen, where their mother was dying on the table.
Her mother's lower half, the room, and the table were all covered in blood. This was my grandmother's sole remembrance of her mother. In that moment, any happy memories were sucked out of her system.
My grandmother's father murdered her mother during an unauthorized abortion. He was never accused of any wrongdoing. He kept his youngest daughter and two little sons with him when his wife died. My grandma was sent to work for a relative as a farmhand. Abortion was a necessary risk for him. They already had an excessive number of children.
Many jurisdictions made it illegal to distribute information about birth control or abortion in 1919. When it came to having sex with her husband, my great-grandmother had no option; it was considered marital obligation. She had no say in whether or not she was pregnant as a result of this. She died as a result of her lack of choice.
My grandmother claimed that once her mother died, she never felt loved. Her relatives, who nurtured her, treated her as though she were a servant.
My grandma married the first man who cared for her (my grandfather was a lovely man). She was 16 years old at the time. He was in his late twenties and still lived with his parents.
My grandmother was treated as a servant in her husband's house until the death of her husband's mother.
Her siblings didn't fare any better. My great-aunt (the youngest sister) was abused by their father, and the younger boys were often beaten by him.
My great-aunt finally married someone who was similar to her father. From the beginning of their marriage until the day she died, he assaulted her.
The brothers vanished. My grandma had no idea what had happened to her brothers for decades. They were in their 60s when she found them. There are a lot many great-granddaughters and great-great-granddaughters in my great-family. grandmother's We've all had legal abortions, at least two of us.
I had just turned eighteen and was about to begin college. It wasn't the abortion that was traumatic; it was being pregnant. I couldn't wait to be free of that responsibility.
I kept sighing with relief and exclaiming, "Thank God that's done," on the way home. I've been using two types of birth control without fail since that day (yes, even during marriage).
My adult child has never engaged in sexual activity without the use of contraception. My child is currently terrified as a result of the leak of a draft Supreme Court ruling showing an intention to overturn Roe v. Wade.
Their health and lifestyle are just too difficult for them to properly manage a pregnancy or child.