Planning for Quality Time During the first eight years of a child’s life, you can assume a fairly sane schedule, as the child’s life centers primarily around the home. But as your child grows and becomes more involved in activities outside the home, you need to spend more time and effort preparing for family quality time. Otherwise it just won’t happen. Here are several ideas.
First, mealtimes are natural events around which to plan.
Over the years, a regular family dinner hour together can be one of the most bonding experiences that you will have. We all hear about families that just set out a pot of food and let everyone eat whenever they arrive home. To those who know the warmth and strength of a regular dinnertime together, year after year, this sounds chaotic. Parents are the only ones who can set the schedule for the family and decide when and if certain events will interrupt that schedule. Some families are able to have breakfast together. And, you may be able to meet a child for lunch once a month.Second, consider overnight trips. Burney and his son, Jeff,
do an overnighter every three months. They usually travel only an hour from home and camp out in their tent for a day and a half of uninterrupted time together. Allyson takes a walk two nights a week with her twelve-year-old daughter, Brittany. On those nights, her husband and son do the dishes and get some father/son time.
Third, simply riding along in the car as Mom or Dad runs errands or drives to a soccer game can result in quality conversation. There is something about sitting in a car that seems to bring out the desire to talk—and listen. Parents should be alert for those times when children seem to need to talk.
Those are just a few ideas. Remember, planning for your times together need not stifle spontaneity. You can always change your plans if you want to, but without making plans,
you may find that you have little quality time with your children. You schedule other people into your calendars—why not your children? They will appreciate the fact that you value your time with them so much that you are willing to say no to other activities. And one by-product of planning is that you teach your children how to schedule their own time.
One of the most difficult times in a family’s day can be when everyone returns from work and school, hungry and tired. Soplanning for time together also means preparing yourself. If you come home from a pressured workday, you need to release the stress of the day, clear your mind of things at work, and then focus on your home. Some people do this by playing their favorite music on the way home. Some friends we know stop the car near home and take a few minutes to pray. Find what will help you to feel relaxed and upbeat, so that you have the energy you need to give to your child.
If you cannot prepare yourself prior to arriving home, you and your spouse can work out a time for you to have to yourself, before you begin interacting with your children. You may need simply to change into comfortable clothes, open a Coke, and stroll in the backyard before settling in with the family. The more refreshed you are, the more you will be able to give to your family.
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