GOOD NIGHT
™️
1. The only reason why I don't feel like getting
married now
is that everyone will now know that I've started
having SEX
including my MOM and its making me to feel Shy.
2. Guys with big eyes will cheat on you and still
have the
nerves to say " Baby please I am sorry, I was
blind".
3. #Pls! If I pour curry on a door, can I call it
Corridor??
#Wisdom will not kill me
4. Umbrella is for slim girls.
The fat ones should be using canopy
Dnt just argue with me
5. Nigerian parents can never apologize, they will
just come
back and act nice. They be like
"Michael! Come and check this clothe maybe it will
size you"
6. Some girls will brag that they can cook...
Until you tell them to cook beans, the pot will look
like where beans are having a pool party
7. She paid you a visit and drank 6 bottles of
beer & 1 full
bottle of dry gin without getting drunk.... My
brother, offer
her kolanut & 4 white fowls coz you are dating
your
Ancestors
8. People can be so wicked ehhh...!!!
How can you say short people can hear
ancestors gossiping
underground..
9. Short girls are cute until it time to say
Goodnight...
Then she hugs your leg
10. It's only in Nigeria you will hear someone
boast of their
level of insanity...
You will hear something lyk "I dey mad oo ask
people"
11. So somebody cannot leave a church
groupchat again?
Try leaving and a sister will just inbox you like
"Bro Michael,
why've you left the Lord"??
12. Dating an Edo girl is just like dating the Chief
Priest of a
village shrine... You will have to appease the gods
if you
want to quit.
Lemmi run before they break my head with
bread
13. You have 10 shirts, 8 is adieu mama.
So if somebody did not die, you won't buy shirt
abi
"Snake swallow you there"
14. You did blood money and you are still stingy.
Blood that is not even your own
Where's that Fried Thunder??
15. I just read the story of a man who sold his
kidney to
sponsor his daughter's education, at the end the
girl
committed suicide because of her boyfriend.
May the land of the dead reject her spirit.
16. Don't rush into a new relationship after
breakup... Wait
for at least 10-15minutes.
17. She will be more attracted to you when you
get her an
iPhone. Ladies have been attracted to Apple since
the
garden of Eden!
18. A guy went for an interview at a big IT
company today for
the position of a "Computer Hacker".The boss
asked him,
"So, what makes you suitable for this job?""Well,"
he replied,
"I hacked into your computer and invited myself
to this
interview!"
19. Public disgrace is when you see your
boyfriend in a
market dancing shakushaku to win indomie face
cap promo
20. Anambra girls will not kill me.
Which one is "Happy Matriculation dear, age with
grace"
21. Instead of killing for money rituals
Just catch a snake and train it very well.... then
send it to
jamb office.....
Voom...
2020 is your Year
22. People are just so wicked sha, imagine selling
fake rat
poison in this economic recession
Don't be a victim, taste it before buying... The
original one is
salty
23. If you're happy with one girlfriend, imagine
having 10?
Happiness weee just kill you die
24. Do you realize that when you're madly in
love, even
insults sounds like birthday wishes?
25. You will be praying for your sugar daddy to
remember
you, his wife will be praying for him to forget
you
You people are just confusing the innocent man's
soul
26. Life is very funny: When Government finds
minerals in
your yard, the minerals belong to the
government, but when
the same government finds marijuana in your
yard then it
belongs to you..
27. How can you say the reason why short
people are
unemployed is because they can't see job
opportunities
28. Not everyone who checks up on you actually
Cares..some want to confirm if their witchcraft
worked. .
29. Staying alone at home is so cool
Until the bathroom door opens by itself
30. In Nigeria, If you want to buy roasted corn,
and you
didn't cross a gutter or they are not selling it near
a gutter
and a road, don't buy!
That's not the original Nigerian roasted corn .
Gutter is part of the ingredients and crossing it is
part of the
spices.
Buying suya is at night. If you buy in the
afternoon, its
barbeque....Suya is sold at night. Aboki sells
original suya.
If you want to buy sugarcane and it's not inside
wheel
barrow....don't buy it, it's not approved by
Nafdac
Everything is inside the constitution..
31. Igbo mother be like:
Michael oooooo...!!
Lower that music.. I wanto taste this soup
32. Why do some girls think it's cool to remove a
guy's cap
from his head and playfully run around with it...?
If I
remove your wig from your head and playfully
run around
with it, would you still find it funny?
The end 🔚
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