Things Happy Couples Do When Feeling Separated four (4)
After locating the problem and managing their fight-or-flight response, happy couples start thinking about ways to encourage reconnection, Ryan Howes said , a psychologist in Pasadena, California. , and the author of Mental Health Journal for Men.
7. You know the breakup is temporary.
Attachment styles, how we were taught to connect emotionally with others and show affection for them in our adult lives, underlie our dating and relationship behaviors. When a secure versus insecure basis of connection exists, the breakup is not experienced as the end of the world, Chappell Marsh said.The therapist said there are three main components to maintaining a generally safe connection with your partner. You can remember this by thinking of the acronym ARE.
"Availability, responsiveness, emotional engagement," he said. “Essentially, couples who feel like their partner is there when they need them, responsive to their needs, and caring about them are more securely connected.”
8.You continue to the end.
Bridging the gap is not just about good communication; Happy couples back their words with measurable actions, Howes said.
"You have to set realistic goals and achieve them to get back on track," he said. "Are you really going to pull off that camping trip or that date night, or was that just idle talk?"
The happiest couples even communicate with a "state of the union" every week, regardless of how the relationship seems to be going."This short conversation usually starts with one person saying, 'How are we doing this week?' and then talking about the ups and downs and areas that need work on in the coming week," Howes said. "When this is done on a regular basis and not just when problems arise, it keeps things running smoothly."
The happiest couples even communicate with a "state of the union" every week, regardless of how the relationship seems to be going.
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