December 6th , 2023


Boli Elliot

A year ago


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Many times, when a relationship comes to an end people don't only become resentful, they also harbour bitterness, anger and sadness in their heart. They live with the regret and constantly play back the past which makes it difficult for them to move on or even see the numerous possibilities life presents to them. 

You hear statements such as "I regret giving you the opportunity" "I regret falling in love with you" "I regret marrying you". They think because of their current partner they lost other opportunities with another person. They end up blaming their partner for messing up their lives. 

One thing they forget is that, relationship or marriage is about choices. The one you are blaming had the opportunity to be with others as well. When you are single, you have the opportunity to be with anyone which also means you also have to shut the door to others.

Once you are single, you are available. When you accept or settle for someone, you are taken and unavailable. That is why it hurts when the one for whom you said NO to others, chooses to be with someone else. This is one thing that makes cheating painful to the partner cheated on.

It’s important that when you make a choice and it is not working, you both seek professional help on what to do. Either to work on your relationship or end it. You have the power to make a choice that defines you. That is how generous life is. When you understand this, you won’t spend your entire life blaming others for a bad choice you made. You also have the opportunity to learn from the bad choice. 

God has given you the power to be in charge of your life, your destiny, your destination. That is why it is very important you take your time before making any choice. Your future relationship or partner depends on you.

When a partner messes up in a relationship, they are telling you who they are, they are the mess. Thank God for knowing and make the right choice, for life is generous. Don’t spend time questioning yourself.

Our actions and words reflect who we are. If your partner cheated in the relationship, they give you the opportunity to know who they are. They didn't cheat on you, they revealed their new identity. They are the cheaters, not you. Don't spend all your time asking yourself why they cheated on you.