Sincere and misleading. Rebellious and hopeless. Tender and harsh.
A whole lacking ambivalence.
I knew best to stay unknown from the slyness.
But I didn't.
I lost in order to gain, and gained to sorrow over my hazy colors.
Grasping on the black that was left for me.
Striving lustfully to give up on sins, I danced alone and tripped over forgotten crowds.
I said, “Hello, and goodbye.”
I lived to love, and then loved to die.
My best companion, my worst foe, is no one else but me.
#Draft 64
Title: conflicted.
Date:01-02-2018.
Sam Scribbles, [2/2/2019 3:53 AM]
There's one positive side when you're a pessimist, Because you expect the least.
When the results are just a little better than you thought, you'd be okay.
And when they're just as bad as anticipated, you're not disappointed.
#random
#to_be_edited
Sam Scribbles, [2/4/2019 2:35 AM]
“Hey, I can see me!”
I saw me! I was sitting on the grass, reading the book of secrets.
I was naked.
All my blemishes were bared to the curious eyes, though their gazes and whispers didn't matter at all.
The pale pages and the crappy handwritten words were alluring, far more important and amusing.
.
.
.
“The silent enraged ghost has come.”
I could hear his footsteps even when he made none, amidst a thousand other voice.
He's here, his eyes were closed as he passed by me, yet he knew.
He knew I was there.
Just like I knew he's coming after me, just like I knew that I needed to get away.
My heart was beating too fast for me to even look back, too hard to even realize that I forgot my beloved book.
Too scared.
I didn't want to find out if his light brown eyes were seen, but I could sense his piercing stare through my back.
It's a race, I realized that the sole of my feet couldn't touch the cold street anymore, and it made breathing an exhausting task for my quivering body.
The sky was getting closer, basking my nudity in the peeking rays of sunlight, the clouds smiled sheepishly at me.
Somehow I was flying, I needed to hold onto something — anything.
He's furious, I could feel my soul shrink in the cell of my flesh.
I didn't play by the rules — his rules, maybe that's why I should fall.
Maybe that's why, I needed to descend into his volcanic pool, let him take me back into my past, where I once belonged.
Or Maybe, That was just what I wanted.
He's waiting beneath.
I didn't forget to wave goodbye to the white fluffy dreams, before getting drawn into my fate's arms.
blogpay
arms.
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