Its just something that I want to share and hear what people have to say about it, personally I know that Ive sinned, and this is how
I lived in the same house with this girl and others, we became close and she asked for a kiss after she lost a game we played together. I was scared because of where we live and besides Ive never been that type of guy, even tho Ive had feelings for the opposite sex, Ive always not been bold to talk about it, somehow found myself masturbating which I know its a sin and currently working on to stop. So I went to her in her room and I told her I dont know what Ive come there to do but Im sure its the kiss that brought me there, fast forward we kissed and it was intense and we somehow had sex twice that night, I felt bad, really bad and this kept on coming back to me.
I thought that was the end, but as time went on, we found ourselves bathing together and fucking ourselves in the bathroom, we had sex so many times that I lost count of.
Shes gone to school and before she left for school I was able to hold myself for 2weeks but right now Im scared and I know shell be coming home soon and this girl doesnt know the word no and she crave for this thing like crazy
I really wanna stop, Ive prayed about it, Ive asked for forgiveness and trying to overcome this lust, Ive read books and watched videos and Im still praying but Im still scared because I dont even believe in my own strength.
You might wonder why I still get scared even after saying Ive been praying about it, its just because even the Bible ask us to flee from sin, but then fleeing is my problem and I know shell be coming after me for sure even if I flee!
Please I need help, like big time advice and how to go about this because I dont want to live my life this way, I was not used to doing this but I lost my way and Im trynna find my way back home This girl that Im talking about loves me, she says I love you and I dont even say it back, just okay.
Actually shes a good girl. Like a wife material you know but Im still young, 22 and Im not getting married anytime soon, I really dont think I love her, Ive tried to but its not working but she does, like bad.
Im not sure about her love, sometimes I feel its out of pleasure and if shes just a sex addict whos trying to drag me with her and its not love, and if I allow myself to love her, she might be fckng around, who knows. And this is why I think I dont love her.
Meanwhile theres this girl Im in love with even I said I was not going to love again or for now after my first relationship but then I couldnt stop myself from loving this girl, shez good and pretty just like the first one, but the first one respects and looks more like a wife material whiles this girl that Im in love with isnt really the wife material thing, she is very prayerful and sometimes reminds me of my spiritual work.
Now among this two, I really dont know who to go for, I dont really love the first girl even tho shes good but then I feel her love is just pleasure for sex and nothing else and besides I want to do all I can to stop myself from having sex with her and Im sure when that happens therell be no love.
The second girl be good and theres no problem with her but I just dont know what to do. Should I stay with the first girl or I should let her go with her sex addiction and focus on the other girl..
blogpay
Total Comments: 0