"My friends mocked me for crying. Growing up, my family told
me to be tough and fight for myself as a man but I break down and can't tell
anyone." This is the story of Kwabena (pseudonym). Other men also experience a similar
situation. Some male friends told me that they were not numb to pain but the
environment made them hide their emotions. Men are often seen as tough humans
who are bold to take on the world. In families, they always want to protect and
provide for their homes. Women are known to be emotional but society does not
see men like that. It is normal for a woman to tell others about her problems. For some men, their manhood will be doubted if they nag or cry.
In Daniel Coleman's research paper, men experience a low
sense of self when they are not able to meet expectations of traditional
masculinity. Some of the characteristics of traditional masculinity are
competition, strength, avoidance of emotions, and unwillingness to ask for
help. This is the norm society has set for them. A study published in BioMed Central Psychiatry Journal linked masculine norms to toughness, physical strength, competitiveness, and heterosexual prowess. There are times men reject help because they want to meet their masculine norms. They want to prove that they are
strong enough to do everything by themselves.
Source: Freepik
These societal expectations seem to harm men. From Daniel
Coleman's research findings, traditional masculinity is associated with
depression and suicidal ideation. In Ghana, nearly 70% of suicides are
committed by men. One of the reasons for this is inadequate emotional support.
In Australia, more men (2358) died by suicide. In the United States, white
males accounted for 69.68% of suicide deaths in 2020. Also, about half of the Ghanaian
men that called during the Super Morning Show on Joy 99.7FM confirmed they had
planned to commit suicide. These figures show that more men are committing suicide than women. Can men also be emotional like women?
A study by the University of Michigan and Purdue University
found that men and women experience similar levels of emotional fluctuations. This
study used 75 daily assessments of emotions in men, Natural Cycling women, and
women who used different types of Oral Contraceptives. This means men are also
emotional like women. This debunks the assumption that only women show
emotions. Women easily talk to other people and seek help when they are facing
challenges but society sees that as a weakness on a man's side. They do not
talk and the next thing they may think of is ending their lives.
Source: Pexels
Emotional support should not be prioritized for only women.
The 21st century is characterized by intense pressure which emanates from fast-changing
technology, high standards of living, and other economic hardships. This
pressure is no respecter of gender. It affects both men and women. It is time
you support a male friend, father, husband, and brother. It is okay if the men
cry out of the stress and pressure. It is okay if they ask for help. Let's support
each other to make life better.
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