People make mistakes, that's normal. But some faults or misunderstandings can put your relationship in danger if you do it constantly and in long-term, especially as a married couple. We're not saying that you shouldn't make any mistake at all, but by being aware of the common errors that you or your future spouse potentially make in your upcoming marriage, you'll learn from it and do better. After all, preparing prevention is better than a cure, isn't it? So, make sure you know what kind of behavior that you should avoid as described below:
1. Bringing up past problems
Sometimes when trying to resolve current issues, a couple shifts their focus to past problems instead. Maybe they're still holding a grudge or feel like the new problem stemmed from old bad habits. Either way, doing this will only make your arguments ineffective and unconstructive, especially if the two of them has agreed that the past problems are already resolved. Put your attention to the issue you faced today, learn how to move on, and don't drag previous disagreements into the new equation. That way, you can avoid fighting about the same stuff over and over again in the future.
2. Not maintaining intimacy
This mistake usually made unconsciously, especially by married couples who have been married for quite some time or getting busier each day with works or kids. When there are too many distractions around you, it's easy to feel like being intimate is no longer a priority. As a result, the couple became distant, disconnected, and drifting apart from each other. No matter how busy or stressed you are with daily life, or how long you've been married, maintain the intimacy between you and your spouse. Aside from having sex, you can also plan a regular date night or consistently giving each other small yet sweet physical gestures, like a kiss before going out of the house or a sincere, deep hug to show how much you missed them at the end of a long day.
3. Allowing other people to get too involved in the relationship
In some cases, a married couple's marriage is not exclusively involving the husband and the wife, but also the parents, in-laws, even best friends, boss, or other people outside their inner circle. It's surely nice to have a solid and strong support system to help you and your spouse when you're facing a certain problem. But if those people turned out to be controlling, micromanaging or making things more complicated, then let's hope it's not too late to change things around. So, before you include unnecessary parties into your relationship, remember that you and your spouse need to set boundaries regarding external involvement, for example by not telling other people about the internal conflicts in your marriage. Because what important is how the two of you need to rely on each other to survive this long-term journey.
4. Expecting the spouse to read your mind
This point kind of explains why communication is the key to a successful marriage. Sometimes, married couples feel like they have known each other well enough so that their spouse should know what they feel or want without saying it out loud. But when the spouse failed to do so, they would feel extremely disappointed. The thing is, your spouse is not a mind-reader, and so are you. While it's cute to know that he can buy you a cup of coffee before you ask, that wouldn't always be the case. Especially in a more complex context, like the reason why you gave him a silent treatment after a fight or how you wish he gives you more attention. Always try to communicate your concerns, desires, wishes, and expectations clearly, it'll save time and energy also help you find the solutions more efficiently.
5. Fighting to win
All couples fight, but some do it to find resolutions, and some simply want to vent out the anger and frustrations toward each other. Some do it even worse; they argue to prove that they're always right and keeping the score between each other; who's right in the last argument, who's the loser and who wins this
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