About to cross the pond and wondering what LGBTQ+ dating is like on the other side? Fear not... Andy Mills-Brown has got you covered!
A successful Brit in his 40s, Andy is an entrepreneur and CEO of TAG Live� a live entertainment business based in the UK and US.
He has spent the last two years living, working, and dating in Orlando, Florida. In that time, he's learned what works and what doesn't. He even found out he has a superpower when it comes to dating American men!
The most significant difference he noticed was the different attitude towards 'dating monogamy' in the United States. While in the UK, people usually date one person at a time, they have a laxer attitude in America.
Andy said: 'In the US, it's fine to be dating two, three or four people at a time. It's totally accepted. You can be dating people until you find the one you acknowledge you're exclusive with.'
Many of the differences he noticed could boil down to the fact that Americans aren't nearly as reserved as the British.
For example, in the US, taking someone on a double date, or to a family event, is acceptable after only a couple of dates. The special somebody waits months before meeting the family in the UK.
Approaching strangers is much easier in the US, too, even though the chatting can often evolve into something that might seem like an interview.
The slang terms don't generally traverse the Atlantic well. They don't seem to care much about the age difference in the US, so it's common for someone of Andy's age to date someone in their 20s.
The dates themselves are different, too. Daytime dates are standard in the US, and the whole date dynamic is a bit of a slower burn, not as intense as in the UK.
Andy revealed: 'In the UK, it's normal to have more liquid or 'Dutch courage', so there tends to be a lot more booze or alcohol involved...
'It tends to be evening, and you've got a couple of glasses of wine to loosen up. You don't tend to do daytime dates. It's just a lot more of a boozy affair, dating in the UK than here.'
When they do go out, Americans don't tend to dress up as much. It might be just Florida, but t-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops are everywhere.
He went on: 'There's no decent wine bar, queer, upscale kind of feel that they have in London. And in downtown Miami, It's all a little trashy and like a meat-market.'
Even though approaching strangers tends to be easier in the US, Andy has found that in both countries, meeting people is a thing of the past.
People meet online now, and on both sides of the pond Grindr is the app of choice for those looking for a hookup. For relationships, it's Hinge or Plenty of Fish.
The availability of PrEP, the medication taken to prevent getting HIV, certainly has a role to play in dating.
While it used to be limited to clinical trial in the UK, it's much easier to get in the United States - likely thanks to Big Pharma and the fact that it's paid for by your health insurance.
Sadly, another thing the Americans have in abundance is the polarization of attitudes toward the LGBTQ+ community. Andy is living in a state that's often at the forefront of the 'con' side of the debate.
He said: 'We have the Don't Say Gay bill, about not teaching kids under a certain age anything to do with the LGBTQ+ community...
'And recently, they just banned drag performances in Tennessee. The irony is they're trying to stop LGBTQ+ being taught in schools, yet guns kill so many kids, and they don't seem to do anything about that.'
The dating expert firmly believes that the best way to fight prejudice is to stop people from learning it. And schools are one of the places where people learn it.
With all those differences considered, Andy would have to say that, for Brits, the United States might be the better place for LGBTQ+ dating. And it's not because of a softer upper lip, PrEP, or flip-flops. It's because of the British accent.
He hilariously uttered: 'My god, do the American men love my accent! I'm an average-looking guy, successful in business, well-groomed, well-mannered, witty...
'But when the accent comes out, it's like a superpower. And with dating apps having voice functionality, If I use them rather than messaging, I get a date much quicker...
'So, America wins for no other reason than a 300% higher response whilst being able to lean into my superpower, the good old British accent!'
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